Published inMuddyUmHow I Finesse My Way Out of Answering Those Damn ‘Where Are You From’ Questions“Sir, I came from my mother’s womb”Aug 12, 20213Aug 12, 20213
Published inLady PiecesHow I Quieted the Voice of Doubt in My Head By Listening to a 24-Hour-Long Video of a Dog Singing…From “You’ll never be published in McSweeney’s” to “AWOOO”Jul 23, 20213Jul 23, 20213
Published inMuddyUmI Invented Crying as a Concept— Please Apologize to Me NowCrying without crediting me is disrespectfulJun 30, 20213Jun 30, 20213
Published inHumor DarlingLocal Father Stoked You Finally Realize the Fashion Value of CrocsNow we can have matching perforated footwear, honey!Jun 28, 2021Jun 28, 2021
Published inGreener Pastures MagazineTell Her You Love Her in All 5 Love LanguagesA guide to getting her hot and energizedJun 23, 20211Jun 23, 20211
Published inMuddyUmGoop Blog: A Chill Roundup of Our Newest ObsessionsManifest your brightest, clearest self by purchasing all of these reasonable products, handpicked by the Goop girls!Jun 21, 20211Jun 21, 20211
Published inThe HavenUnexpected Benefits of Removing the Tiny, Bearded Man From Your HeartYou’rrrrre outta there, Jesos!Jun 9, 20213Jun 9, 20213
Published inJane Austen’s WastebasketI’m Momotaro’s Mom, and I Never Asked for Any of ThisThis peach baby saved the town, but he’s ruining my lifestyleJun 7, 20211Jun 7, 20211
Published inMuddyUmHow to Reconcile with Your Pet After You’ve Stepped on Their Little PawFirst of all, how dare youMay 25, 20216May 25, 20216
Published inThe Haven’90s Antennae Hairstyle Back to Remind You of Just How Uncool You Were in the ‘90sYou can run, but you cannot hide behind these thin, face-framing tendrils of hair.May 23, 20212May 23, 20212
